Asking For A Friend

CATRIONA BOFFARD  |  Podcast , ±48 min episodes every 2 weeks, 1 day  | 
Ever had a question you felt too embarrassed to ask, and instead asked that question “for a friend”?

Hosted by Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist Catriona Boffard, Asking for a Friend brings you fascinating and interesting conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and mental and physical health. In each episode, Catriona will bring you evidence-based information and real-world advice on topics that are not often discussed but that we really need to normalise and talk more about. She’s joined by special guests who are all experts in their fields or have lived experiences of these topics. Follow Catriona on Instagram at @sexologywithcatriona

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23
JUN

Tantra, with Valentina Leo - S4E4

Tantra isn't what you think it is or what the media has packaged it as, and listening to today's guest will inspire you to learn more about it and perhaps, even to venture further into this way of living.

Valentina Leo is a renowned and trusted Tantra teacher, who’s philosophy to tantra centres around deep desire and devotion to become truly intimate with reality. Italian born but living in Cape Town for many years now, she’s a well-known teacher in the tantra space and trusted and loved by those who are her students.

In this episode, renowned and trusted Tantra teacher Valentina Leo takes us on a journey of wisdom and truth, in trying to understand what tantra is, and that there is no one definition for it. Valentina shares her wisdom with me about the practice of tantra in everyday life and in sex, and how ultimately, tantric practice starts with the individual and should always be about one seeking their own truth. There’s so much to learn in this episode, but don’t expect a set of instructions. Rather, be prepared to become even more curios and intrigued in how tantra could expand not just your sex life but your life as a whole.

Find Valentina Leo’s work on YouTube and connect with her through her website www.fascinatingwonderment.com

Today's episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness brand. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but about using products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off online, use the code FORAFRIEND.
16
JUN

Men's sexual wellbeing, with Prof Shingai Mutambirwa - S4E3

Unfortunately, what most people with a penis expect their sex lives to look like can often be misaligned from what they are experiencing. It’s completely normal, at times, for someone to experience difficulties in their sexual response, including not really wanting sex or perhaps not getting an erection when they want one.

My guest today is a professor of urology and the Head of Department of Urology at Dr George Mukhari Academic hospital and Sefako Makgatho Health Sciences University in Pretoria South Africa, Shingai Mutambirwa.

Shingai and I had a very honest and real discussion about what those with a penis can experience sexually and why you’ve got to give yourself a break and place less pressure on yourself in how you expect your sexual experience to look like.

This episode is sponsored by &BAM. Erectile Dysfunction can be awkward to talk about. This makes it hard to treat. &BAM connects you with a doctor and, if suitable, ships prescription treatment plans discreetly to your door. Stop whispering erectile dysfunction at the pharmacy counter. Visit andbam.care, and use the code CATRIONA at checkout for a R50 doctor’s consult and 30% off your first shipment.
09
JUN

Sex Coaching, with Dr Patti Britton - S4E2

There’s often a lot that can be confusing about seeking help for sexual concerns. Who do you see, what type of professional is right for your needs, how do you avoid seeing a charlatan? I spoke to the eminent Dr Patti Britton, who is prolific in the field of sexuality both for her work with clients and her training of sexual health professionals. Patti and I unpack the differences for you between sex coaching and sex therapy, and help you understand what to look for and expect when seeing someone to overcome sexual concerns.

Dr. Patti is a Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and is known as the “Mother of Sex Coaching” with top level credentials. As a well-respected world leader in sexology, she is an academic, author, popular speaker, trainer and workshop leader, and hosts over 40 DVDs for couples’ sexual enhancement. She is a frequent guest on summits, television shows, documentaries, live talk and news radio, podcasts and magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Women’s Health. She has a private practice near Los Angeles and via Zoom globally. Dr. Patti is the Co-Founder of SexCoachU, the world’s premier credentialing and training organization for sex coaching. Dr. Patti accepts VIP sex coaching clients, especially those referred by their therapist.

You can access Dr Patti’s work here: www.BrittonMastermind.com or https://drpattibritton.com/

Sex Coach U website: https://sexcoachu.com/

Her free workbook is available here:

https://drpattibritton.com/freegift/

Her brilliant textbook on developing and running a SAR is available on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Designing-Leading-Successful-Patti-Britton/dp/1138236993

This week’s episode is sponsored by My Sexual Health – Credible Sexual Health Providers. Mysexualhealth.co.za is an online destination where you can find or become a Credible Sexual Health Provider.

You can access the Sexology Training Club via the website on: Sexology Courses

And My Sexual Health: Sexual Health & Sex
02
JUN

Sexual pursuers and withdrawers, with Dr Laurie Watson - S4E1

Laurie is a highly experienced ASSECT certified sex therapist and the co-host of the chart-topping podcast, Foreplay Radio Sex Therapy. I’ve admired Laurie’s work for many years and long before I had a podcast of my own, I was sharing her podcast with my clients or colleagues because it is a gold mine of knowledge! She’s also an author, speaker, has featured in media from the New York Times to Huffington Post, and offers weekend retreats for couples in North Carolina.

With her focus in emotion focused therapy (EFT), Laurie beautifully details how common patterns between partners, that of the withdrawer and the pursuer, can play out sexually. Anyone who’s ever had a sexual partner should listen to this, as I have no doubt that you’ll learn more than think you can about yourself and your sexual style.

You can find out more about Laurie here: https://awakeningscenter.org/therapists/laurie-watson

Foreplay Radio sex therapy, the podcast she co-hosts with couple’s therapist George Faller, is consistently in the top 10 on iTunes.

This week's episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa's leading sexual health and wellness brand. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but about using products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off at www.desir.co.za, use the code FORAFRIEND.
14
OCT
2021

Season three finale Q&A - S3E12

How on earth did that happen? Season 3 of Asking for a Friend is done and dusted!
I’ve had the privilege of speaking to yet another 11 amazing people, who’ve spoken to me about everything from sex and stress, to mindfulness, period poverty and how to have extraordinary sex. I’ve learnt a fortune from my guests this season and I hope you have too.

As always, I end the season with a Q&A of some question you’ve sent to me over the past few months. Today’s episode addresses the following:
1) What impact do contraceptions have on libido? Are they linked to anxiety?
2) What is the difference between intimacy and sex? Isn’t sex enough when it comes to intimacy?
3) How do we recreate closeness since we are always together since the pandemic began?
3) I feel very unconfident in bed after coming out of a 4 year relationship (he’s the only guy I’ve slept with) and I constantly worry about how someone else will find me in bed. Help!

I’ll be back in early 2022 with a brand new season and more incredible guests, speaking to topics we need to talk more openly and easily about.
07
OCT
2021

Extraordinary sex, with Prof Peggy Kleinplatz, S3E11

Sadly, I think most people think that great sex equate to sex X times a week or when sex is novel and varied (perhaps by using multiple toys or positions)… but this could not be further from the truth. And don’t we all want to have extraordinary sex? Obviously yes!

Who better to speak to about this than the global leader on this topic, none other than the prolific Prof Peggy Kleinplatz. Peggy is a professor of Medicine and a Clinical Professor of Psychology at the University of Ottawa. She teaches Human Sexuality at the University of Ottawa, and is their Director of Sex and Couples Therapy Training. She is also a clinical psychologist. She is considered prolific in the field of sexual health research; being a highly respected and accomplished clinician, her work on optimal sexual experiences is not only exciting but ground-breaking too.

You can read up on Peggy’s work here: www.optimalsexualexperiences.com

Her book, “Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers” is a must read!
30
SEP
2021

Treating sexual pain, with Dr Elna Rudolph - S3E10

If you struggle with sexual pain, a major concern when seeking treatment is if you will have another experience with another healthcare professional where you feel broken, traumatised or shamed (this is so common and upsetting that I am conducting research on it in order to help health care professionals do better). And so in this week’s episode I’m covering what SHOULD happen in a medical assessment, so that you can empower yourself when you start your journey to recovery.

In my opinion, if there’s one person globally who you would want to talk to to learn from or get treated by, it’s my guest this week. She is none-other than my friend and mentor, Dr Elna Rudolph. Elna is a South Africa sexologist and medical doctor who has been working in the field of sexual health since 2010. She founded South Africa’s leading multidisciplinary team, My Sexual Health, and the training platform, The Sexology Training Club. She is the president of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA), and has just been appointed as the new president of the World Association of Sexual Health (WAS). She is loved and hugely respected by anyone who meets her, and goes above and beyond for not only her patients and colleagues, but to advance the field of sexual health in a direction of inclusivity, sexual justice and sexual rights for all.

You can find out the practice Elna started here: www.my sexual health.co.za

If you want to improve your knowledge or skills in sexual health, sign up with the Sexology Training Club here, using my discount code BOFFARD for a discount: www.sexologycourses.com
23
SEP
2021

Can mindfulness really improve your sex life, with Dr Lori Brotto - S3E9

It’s been scientifically proven that consistent mindfulness practice can actually improve your sex life (and most other areas of your life as well) – isn’t that just amazing! But the issue is that most people don’t really have a clear understanding of what mindfulness is, often get frustrated with the practice and tell themselves that they “aren’t good at it” or they “don’t have time.”

To explain to you just how powerful this practice can be, I chatted to Dr Lori Brotto, a clinical psychologist, author and researcher in Canada, who is considered the world’s leading expert on the subject. Lori and I take a deep dive into just how useful mindfulness can be for your sexual experience. Mindfulness, the act of paying attention to the present moment, moment-by-moment, without judgement is not supposed to be easy. It can help us manage our emotions and improve our ability to connect with our bodies. We also delve into the difference between compassion and complacency – a concern so many people express when I talk about using mindfulness to change one’s relationship with sex.

Dr Brotto practices in British Columbia, Canada and is a faculty member of the University of British Columbia. Her best selling book, “Better sex through mindfulness” is in my top 10 books I’ve ever read!
16
SEP
2021

Attachment styles, with Dr Stan Tatkin - S3E8

I call myself an attachment theory nerd all the time. I love this psychological theory and how it clearly helps us make sense of adult romantic relationships.

Attachment theory relates to the type of attachments we have to our primary care givers growing up (usually our parents), which can predict what sort of relationship dynamics we might be experience as adults. The more insecure we are as children, the more we struggle as adults and vice versus.

Dr Stan Tatkin is a world-leading voice in couples therapy and human behaviour. He is a therapist, teacher, author, researcher and developed PACT – a psychobiological approach to couples therapy. His books are best-sellers across the world, and I often recommend them to my clients and colleagues.

Stan is on Instagram @drstantatkin
His website, https://www.thepactinstitute.com, is full of useful resources for clinicians and couples.
09
SEP
2021

Making sense of menopause, with Prof Trudy Smith - S3E7

It almost feels cruel that women experience a ‘Benjamin Button’ effect as we age – from adolescence when our bodies develop and hormones kick into action, to the menopause mid-life when hormonal levels decrease and impact our body. But it’s not supposed to be the ‘end of your womanhood’ or your sex life, as I discuss with my guest this week.

Prof Trudy Smith is one of the most highly regarded physicians in the field of obstetrics and gynaecology; both locally and internationally. And she has does extensive work and research around the menopause – the time after a woman’s last menstrual period (usually around the age of 49-51).

Trudy and I discuss several aspects of this stage of a woman’s life, including early menopause, what to do when you are in the menopause, and why Japanese women are known to have almost no menopausal symptoms. We obviously discuss how sex is affected by the menopause, and actually, that it can be liberating sexually rather than the myth that it’s the ‘end of your sex life’.

Prof Smith consults with only gynaecology patients in Johannesburg, after recently given up obstetrics after many years.
02
SEP
2021

What to expect when you're expecting, with Clare Bourne - S3E6

This is one of the topics that I get asked about the most, and in this week’s episode I spoke to Clare Bourne about how to prepare for and manage sex pre and post-partum. Clare is a London-based pelvic health physiotherapist and mum of 2. Having pregnancy and postnatal experience personally, Clare knows what a precious but also vulnerable, and sometimes lonely, experience it can be.

Our journey is not all the same, and it’s important as someone who’s giving/given birth to recognise this. There’s so much information out there and too much thinking about what we “should” be feeling. Clare and I delve into how to be ok with what’s happening to you and your body, and how to prepare for changes that inevitably take place. Talking to Clare was a breath of fresh air. She speaks to honestly and clearly about what women can really experience around their bodies, births and sex.

She’s amazing to follow on Instagram @clarebournephysio
In the episode, we mention the amazing brand Yes organics @yesorganics
26
AUG
2021

Recognising relationship patterns, with Dr Amani Zarroug - S3E5

"Self-reflection is the area [in the relationship] where the most change can happen."

Ever realised that in a new relationship, you notice the same things happen from previous relationships? In this week’s episode, I’m chatting to Dr Amani Zarroug, a Clinical Psychologist and Relationship and Psychosexual Therapist. She specialises in a variety of mental health problems, and has been working in this field for the past 20 years. Amani enjoys working with individuals and couples to improve the quality of their relationships, and their sexual satisfaction.

We talk about relationship patterns and common problems that couples could face. I own up about things I realise I have done and have had to reflect on in terms of my own relationships. And Amani emphasises that owning our role in the dynamic that plays out between a couple can really make a massive difference in your relationship.

You can follow Amani and her work on Instragram here @dramanizarroug
She runs her practice in London, but also consults online.

41 episodes

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