I never truly felt well. After surviving a rough childhood, torn between a narcissist of a father and an unfeeling and emotionally neglectful mother, I learnt that I was the only one I could depend on.
I always felt like 'the black sheep' and found it hard to trust anyone.
In my teens, my lack of control in my life led to anorexia and binge eating disorders. My weight was about all I could truly take charge of. By the age of 17, I had also become a binge drinker- leading to becoming an alcoholic by age 21.
After transferring this lack of self-relationship to relationships with others, I found myself at the end of a string of emotionally vacuous and harmful relationships- culminating in a marriage to a narcissist (don't all girls end up marrying a version of their father?). Those self-esteem issues came back and again via my weight- I protected myself by becoming morbidly obese. That was the only way my body could physically be off-limits to an abusive husband (or so I thought).
After 14 years of being told I was ugly, worth nothing, a horrible mother and much more- I left! I packed the kids, dogs and cats into the car, loaded a truck, and fled town.
The next 4 years saw a drawn-out legal battle that saw me lose everything except my babies. I had to start again but the toll of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Adverse Childhood Relationship Experiences (ACREs) and my adult relationship disasters (including the one with myself), years of stress, and physical trauma to my body culminated in multiple conditions that threatened to end my life.
I threw myself into the study, learning about the systems of the body and how they each worked in harmony with each other, I sought help with my trauma and became truly well, truly loved (by myself and my kids).
I continued my study after becoming well and even though other conditions formed from medical negligence (before I was the master of my own health). I continued to become stronger, more able to handle anything in life and free from the past both physically and emotionally.
Now I am an instructor of PNEI of Trauma, the lead practitioner at Wholistic Natural Health Australia, and the host of my own podcast.